The Conundrum of Choice: Marriage, Family and Sexuality
Not all marriages feel contrived, but is it still important to question the hegemonic discourses and systemic structures that all of us have built and continue to perpetuate; that any sexuality outside of marriage and consequently outside the traditional family is seen as an aberration or as ‘the other’. The stigma and the loneliness around non-normative sexualities would perhaps reduce not by normalising the queer but by queering the normal. And this requires not only delinking marriage from sexuality, but also delinking marriage from the family. By this I mean exercising choice, in not only who we desire and have sex with but also who we share our lives with – not necessarily within the framework of a marriage or marriage-like relationship. This choice in many cases might mean – we choose the same people we already share a familial bond with but without the element of coercion of any sort, be it emotional, financial or physical. Consequently we need to ask ourselves: What are we afraid of?
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